I dont miss you , honestly . I could look at you with all the hatred . I could forgive myself for letting you go . Yet , i know who am i lying to when i said i could replace one lover like you . In your life , you are going to fall in love so hard you bounced up to the moon and back , but only once . Though you'll look back to the memories and cried , keep pushing forward is always the best option . I will cherish those times , i wanted someone to love me that bad again , but i know the world dont work that way . You came when i least expected , and i go when you didnt expected me to . I leaved traces of regrets , but i will keep this beautiful memories close to my heart . I know i am the one to blame but maybe fate has written better story for you . I used to said i love you so much i could lie there forever without talking to you but only to see your face . Everything is perfect back then . Life seemed complete , my every drop of happiness felt like sins . Day and night went so fast , we didnt see what is at the end of the tunnel . You treated me well , talked nicely , pay a very very delicate attention , attended to my needs without any questions . Being in love with you has made me a lot better person , and if i had one like you this very moment , i will never let go , again . Sadly , i didnt . Yes i falled in love when i thought i am strong enough , i have loved myself enough . I am wrong . I am at my weakest point when he poisoned me with his lies . After a while , i wish , and i really wish i did not made this mistake . I feel like holding onto something that is not even there . He cant even tell when i am sad , he refused to take care of my feelings anymore . He throwed me away when i needed him the most , his happiness is to see me struggle , his love is only when he wants me . I felt , invisible . 

The more i give the more i get hurt , and im tired of saying " lets try this , again "

I used to be happy at one time , im happy for them . Now i tak sure if i can be happy lagi . Its hard . 

Can you percaya how in love i am now ?

One day , i'll look back and say ; i cant believe it sambil menggeleng .

& masa tu , you know how it ends .

Have you been in love but it hurts you inside . Its like trying to eat all the fats but keep getting all skinny . Like studying so hard but keep failing . Like going out to no direction , no destination . And you know it just wont last . Someone's holding back . And holding back is the hardest thing to feel , you just dont know when to let go . 

Hurt , and be blame . 

Love life on hanging balance ;

To let go , or to stay . 

Ask yourself ; 

When is the last time you feel happy , joy . You feel uplifted . Courage . When you are warmth in his arms . Have you sleep in deep love and passion . Cry in moments you want to stay indulge in . Soak in pure happiness no one else could catch it for you .

Or  Do you feel insecure . Confused . Left out . Or do you scream for trust and longing for faith .  Sulk in fake kisses hide behind blind words . Strangling in deep sorrow . Not knowing if this is the right path . In the core , you're dying .

Choose , YOU .

Give it time to nurture ; feed it with faith , choke it with love , shine it with joy and let the bug shade in its dark side . Place it inside a jar where none can touch but always can see . May it grow to be beautiful & in peace .